I don’t think I’m a very good fish owner. You’d think looking after a fish would be the easiest thing ever … especially since it seems to be one of the preferred pets parents buy their children to teach them responsibility … or maybe because fish are inexpensive and easy to replace. Also, if they get out of their tank they have a tendency to flop around on the floor until they die instead of going feral, gorging themselves on whatever food items have been left unattended in the kitchen, and setting up house in the hall closet.

In some ways I’m very surprised that Jasper Darling Higgins has lived this long. He has not had the easiest life and has proved remarkably resilient considering the trauma he’s been put through. First off, he used to live in my old broken and disabled blender. It turned out to be an unsuitable home because it had a tendency to leak despite the super-amazing supposedly watertight sealants I used. His current home has been attacked several times by the Resident Menace a.k.a. Chester the cat who seems to be more interested in the air filter system than in the actual fish. Anyway, it turns out that lately I keep neglecting to feed Jasper for a hours at a time. I’m afraid that in awhile it will go from hours to days.

I hate to admit it but right now: Fish = Forgettable.