Wonderful news everyone; Lara has finished her time at the rehabilitation clinic! She has once more been thrust into the wicked, cruel, world full of meanies to fend for herself … and she’s going to do it without the crutch of drugs this time. I am very very proud of her.

If she didn’t live a few hundred miles away I would be throwing her a party. Hey, I might throw her a party anyway. I’ve got a Nightmare Before Christmas party pack that’s about 10 years old and never been opened. I’ve been saving it up for a special occasion. (Other people save expensive wines and champagne … I save silly paper products that will probably crumble to dust by the time I finally get around to using them.) Anyway, I can put party hats on Melchizedek and Chester, I’d offer one to Jasper Darling … but he lives in water and the hat would get soggy and probably turn the water a nasty greyish color. I’ll bake some cookies and watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch in celebration. Or maybe Lara’s favorite Kevin Smith film … which I can’t remember which title that would be at the moment … so maybe I’ll watch as many of them as I can stand in succession.

I know, my idea of partying pales in comparison to the wild affairs other people arrange. But you must remember: I work in a library and my idea of a fun evening usually involves video games designed for children under the age of 14.

I don’t think I’m enjoying October quite as much as I was at the beginning of the month. It looks like this month has made me a bit accident prone. First the incident with the potato peeler, and now my arm has had an unfortunate run in with an iron. The burn-line on my arm isn’t healing as quickly as I would like. Part of this probably has to do with the small problem I’ve been having with band aids. Every time I put a band aid over the burn, I have to take it off a few hours later … and when I take it off I somehow end up removing several layers of surrounding skin. I’m trying to be careful, and I’m even using those band aids that say they don’t hurt (don’t you believe it for even one moment. It’s all LIES. Awful, terrible lies. ) Soon my forearm is just going to be one thin burn line and a whole lot of missing skin. I’ve already achieved an amazing level of unattractiveness. I’ll be wearing long sleeves to work for the rest of this week … just so that any passing patrons won’t panic and tell the librarians I have some horribly infectious skin condition. I don’t want to be sent home or put into any kind of quarantine … because I don’t think I would be paid for it … and having some sort of income is a necessary part of living.

I think someone should open a betting pool on what my next accident will be. I am personally expecting to be stuck in the elevator for a few hours someday … and since I’ve already heard stories about the elevators at work this seems increasingly likely. Of course, there’s also the off chance that I will go to blow out a candle and manage to burn off all the hair from my head. Or should I choose to carve a jack o’ lantern (which I really really really want to do) I’m sure I can have any number of things go wrong with a knife.

The middle finger on my left hand had a little run-in with my super-sharp potato peeler the other day. It resulted in a chunk of my fingertip going a.w.o.l., a little bit of bloodshed, and a brief dizzy spell. (Don’t know why, but I don’t take hand-injuries well.) Since my accident, I’ve been very careful about keeping my would clean and protected. I’ve gone through a few dozen band aids and I’m surprised how quickly I’m healing. In a few more days I’m pretty sure it will be very difficult to tell that I’ve been injured at all. The only hint will be the shiny quality that skin has for awhile after it’s healed. It’ll be interesting if I can walk away with this without a scar. However, I do think that I will now have a greater respect for the potato peeler.

In fact, if I were a villain, the potato peeler would definitely be my weapon of choice.

For the first time in my life I’m inclined to believe the saying children everywhere hear at least once in their lifetime: “Don’t make that face; it might get stuck that way!”

Just in case anyone was unclear about this.