I discovered something disgusting in my refrigerator today. Until now I was completely unaware that mushrooms can turn green. Not just any shade of green either, but toxic lime jello green with a funky sheen that probably fluoresces under black-light.

My discovery was upsetting enough that I threw the mushrooms away in the dumpster outside. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that it occurred to me I probably should have taken photos to document my findings. If I were braver and more adventurous, I would comb through the garbage just to bring you proof that I’m not making this up.

Now, no one will believe me.